by Jacqueline on November 27, 2009

It is though that a “first impression” is created in three seconds. That is… one… two… three… impression created! In that tiny amount of time your appearance, body language, mannerisms and how you are dressed are all pieced together to form that impression. After that “first impression,” it can take hundreds of hours for the three second first impression to be changed. With odds like these, it’s important that that first impression is a good one.
Impressions are being created all the time – at work, socially and romantically. They help you get a job and the salary you want. They help you get respected amongst your peers and with strangers. They help you to get a date… and a second one.
Now you could be saying to yourself, “ but that is so shallow.” It might seem that way, but you do it too with the people you meet. It’s one of our survival strategies to function effectively in the world.
Since clothes and personal grooming can be a challenge for some people, those are going to be the focus of this article.
- Clean and Fresh The main thing is to be clean. It doesn’t matter how wonderful you look, if there is a strange odor around you, it’s very off-putting. Be sure your hair is washed and that you are showered and wearing clean clothes every day before you leave the house.
- Clothes Make sure your clothes are in good condition – no buttons missing or hems hanging down and wrinkle free. Dress according to the situation or the event, so a dark suit for a funeral and something casual for a family picnic. If in doubt about the dress code of a particular event, don’t be shy to ask. Women are usually better at this than men. As a rule of thumb, when in doubt, dress smart. People always are impressed (not offended) by smart clothes and it’s a sign of respect to them when you dress up, not down.
- Personal GroomingThis is one step above being clean and involves being cleanly shaven, having clean short nails (or not chipped nail varnish) and having had a haircut in the last six weeks.
Not only will you be dressed to impress, if you follow these rules you will feel great on the inside too. You will have an inner self-confidence and feel ready for any situation.
by Jacqueline on November 20, 2009

Studying can be a frustrating experience for some people. You try really hard, but you don’t seem to get the results that reflect the amount of effort you put in. Even if you write a great paper, you might forget the deadline and lose marks because of that rather than the content of your work. You might find it difficult to pay attention during a lecture, or procrastinate over preparing for your exam and then study all night in order to know the information you need.
Even if your university days are over long ago, these tips will still be useful for you in your workplace and can be applied to preparing for a presentation or staying alert in meetings.
- Don’t compare yourself to anyone! We all have our strengths, the brain box in the corner, might know the answer to everything, get As and have her homework in on time, but she probably doesn’t have as much creativity and imagination as you. Comparing yourself to others only results in you feeling bad about yourself because you see your weaknesses and not your great strengths.
- Lectures aren’t always the best way to learn. You may be far better in an active learning situation. However, when there is no other way, try these five tips:
- Take notes. They keep you alert and will help jog your memory later.
- Take a stress ball to class and squeeze it. Having something to do with your hands helps your brain focus on what is being said.
- Accept that your brain is going to drift off. When it does, simply bring your concentration back to the speaker. Don’t be down on yourself. The more you beat yourself up for not paying attention, the worse you will feel and the less you will concentrate. Give yourself a pat on the back for the 50% you did listen to rather than the 50% you didn’t.
- Ask a friend to borrow their notes and photocopy them. Two heads are better than one.
- Ask the lecturer if you can record the lecture. Most will say yes. Then you can listen to the lecture again.
- Get into a routine with your studying. I know you might shy away from routine, but it’s a great way to keep on top of your studies and not get overwhelmed. It also helps that constant chatter in your brain about when to study, and stops procrastination. You might decide from 6-9pm every weekday evening you will study. In a very short time you will find that if you are doing everything else besides studying during this time it just wouldn’t feel right.
- Develop a “getting into “gear” or transitional period that signals to your brain that you are about to start studying. Just like when you are going to the gym you prepare yourself by driving to the gym, changing, stretching before beginning to exercise, the same is true for studying. For example:
- Make a cup of tea; take it to your study area (bedroom, office, etc.)
- Write down your study objectives
- Plan how you will reward yourself after you have finished (call a friend; watch a TV show, etc.)
- Begin!
- Break big tasks into smaller ones. If you have a big assignment and find it overwhelming, simply break it down into smaller pieces. For example:
- Write assignment plan
- Introduction
- Point 1
- Point 2
- Point 3
- Conclusion
- Flesh out the plan
- Complete rough draft
- Complete final draft
- Hand in to teacher
- Celebrate
Suddenly this overwhelming assignment seems much more achievable.
- Noise or no noise. Some people have to have some background noise (usually music) while they are studying. Others like complete silence. Which one are you? If you enjoy music, that is easy to accommodate. Complete silence is a little trickier, but libraries are quiet places. Possibly your home, depending on your living situation. You could also investigate headphones or even a white noise machine that will block out sound.
- Active learning not only makes studying a lot more interesting, it also helps you remember the information. Here are a few ways to experiment with active learning:
- When you are reading, ask yourself questions and try to find the answer in the text.
- Link it to information you already know.
- Summarize what you just learned to a friend, or even your dog. Just by trying to articulate what you learned will help you to realize if you know what you just read about, or if you need to go over it again.
- Draw a mind map. Mind maps can be a great tool to organize your information. Tony Buzzard has many great tips on how to create and use mind maps at http://www.buzanworld.com/Mind_Maps.htm.
- Break your study time down into small chunks. 30 minutes works well for me. Some people find that too long and prefer chunks of 20 minutes. Others can concentrate for 40 minutes. Knowing that the timer is ticking away helps you to concentrate on the task at hand. When the timer rings, stretch, take a bathroom break and go back for your next timed study period.
- The first 10 to 15 minutes of private study are always the hardest. Break through that and you will find that you are in the study groove.
- Reward yourself! A lot. You get rewards for studying for the time you set yourself, or handing a paper in on time, for sitting a test. Rewards will vary depending on the task and what you consider a reward, but your brain really loves to know that at the end of all the hard work there is a reward waiting!
by Jacqueline on November 13, 2009

In order to lead a healthy, well-balanced life, it is important to have some special people in your life. This makes you feel connected, loved, cared for and valued. We all need human connections to thrive and also to be the best we can be in this world. There are many qualities that make up a good friend. Here are three important ones:
- People who think you are amazing just as you are. One of my clients is very energetic and has a hard time sitting still. She tells stories with her arms as well as her voice and her friends love her extravagant gestures because it makes her who she is.When she started dating a man who was very conservative, he was embarrassed by her gestures and wanted her to change. This took a real toll on her confidence and self-esteem as she tried to conform to someone else’s ideals.The moral of this story is to surround yourself with people who love you just the way you are. Who don’t judge or try to change you.
- People who lift you up when you are down. Some people receive lots of negative feedback from people, so it’s important to counteract that with lots of positive comments from those nearest and dearest to you. One day, after experiencing one of life’s setbacks, I phone a friend to share the experience. Towards the end of the conversation, I jokingly asked, “So, you still think I am the best thing since sliced bread?” My sentence was barely complete when she was uttering the word “BETTER!” with complete sincerity.We all need people like this. They are in your corner 100%, they say just the right thing to put things into perspective, make you laugh and generally lift you up when you are down.
- People who are there to share the good times. Some people love a good sob story. They love it when you are down on your luck. They can commiserate with you and tell you their woes, too. However, not everyone is able to share the good times with you, too. The people who can are worth keeping close. They don’t feel threatened by your achievements and accomplishments, and are genuinely delighted for you.Life does have its ups and downs and you want the people you’re with to be able to share both with you.
The following five steps will help you to make these important human connections:
- Think of who in your life is a “good person.” Having wonderful people in your life does not happen by accident. It takes a little time and awareness on your part. So think about who is in your life at the moment. Feel grateful for the wonderful people who are already in it. Also be aware of those who no longer support you, so you can spend less time with them.
- Remember that you deserve good people in your life. If you haven’t been used to having them, it may seem a bit strange at first. However, you are not asking them to do or be anything you aren’t to them.
- If you already have people in your life who are amazing, then spend a few minutes thinking about how you could spend more time with them.
- If there is room in your life for new people, spend a few minutes and think about how you could meet them. Joining groups where people share a common interest, such as a book group, is a great way, as is volunteering for a charity that captures your interest.
- If you have had great friends in the past that you have lost touch with, try to reconnect with them. Facebook is a great tool to help you with this.
by Jacqueline on November 6, 2009

For many people, one of the worst tasks imaginable is… housework. Not only is it boring and mundane, it also provides ample opportunity for procrastination and distraction to take place. What could be a two-hour cleaning spree could take all day. However, even though housework, such as cleaning and tidying, taking the trash out, etc. is not a pleasant prospect, it does need to be done, both from a health and safety standpoint, and for your mental and emotional well-being. You feel much better when you have a clean and tidy house. So how can you make it more interesting and even fun? Below is a winning formula!!!
- Get a piece of paper and a pen and write down every room that needs attention. For example:
- Bedroom
- Bathroom
- Kitchen
- Living Room
You don’t need to write down what you need to do in each room as that will be obvious once you are there.
By each room on your list, write down the number 10. (This stands for ten minutes.)
- Now go to the first room on the list, set your timer for 10 minutes and blitz. Do what needs to be done. It could be changing the linens on the bed, putting clothes away, vacuuming, etc. Start and then keep moving until the timer rings and the 10 minutes is up. A golden rule is don’t leave the room you are working in (even for a second) during those 10 minutes. If you find an item that belongs in another room, put it by the door to be moved when the 10 minutes is up. This keeps your mind focused on the tasks in hand and minimizes the risk of distraction.
- When the timer goes off, stop what you are doing, even if you are in the middle of a task. This might be hard because our mind craves completion. However, it’s because you DO stop and move from room to room that you remain motivated and energized. This is why this technique works so well. When the timer goes off, put a line through the 10 for the room you have just finished and then move to the second room.
- Do the same for each room on the list. This technique is so powerful that it keeps you on your toes. 10 minutes does not allow you to get bored. It creates a sort of race between you and the timer and keeps you motivated to keep going and not procrastinate.
- When you have finished all the rooms on your list (maximum 5 rooms), have a mini break. Drink some water and then start again at the beginning of your list and spend another 10 minutes in each room. By then you should have 5 clean and shiny rooms.
When you have finished, sit down for a rest and a cup of tea and flip through a magazine as a treat… you earned it!!!